I have not updated my blog in what seems like forever. Life has been pretty busy lately. First of all, let me get a little personal. I DO NOT LIKE BACHELOR PARTIES! Not that I've been to one, but my boyfriend surely experienced his first and last bachelor party. The typical "guy stuff" happened, and I was not happy at all! They of course went to strip clubs/bikini bars. I don't know about you girls, but I have a problem with that. I don't want nasty strippers dancing ON or AROUND my boyfriend wearing almost nothing, and quite honestly I don't want him lookin' at them! If you wanna be with me, you shouldn't be wanting to look at another woman, let alone go to a place like a strip club. I've come up with the perfect disciplinary actions if your boyfriend ever does something like this.
#1. Call your mom, grandma, and anyone else you can think of and say, "You would NEVER guess what (insert name here) did!" And tell them all the details.
#2. Two days later, invite him to your grandmother's house for lunch. :)
#3. Post on his Facebook wall... Tell him how much you love him even though he decided to spend time with women who make a living showing their cellulite and boobies.
#4. Anytime you can throw in the words, "boob" "stripper" or "dollar bills"... Do so!
#5. When you two love birds are watching TV together and a Victoria's Secret commercial comes on, COVER HIS EYES in a panic! And tell him he saw plenty of that last weekend.
#6. If you happen to drive by a strip club or a bikini bar BURST INTO TEARS! Have a complete PMS, "oh my gosh i am so fat", youwenttoastripclub fit! :) This will become annoying and he will probably try not to even drive by these places again.
#7. You want a puppy. You want one now. Tell him you want a puppy because a puppy doesn't lie and doesn't do shady things.
#8. You deserve foot massages. Plenty of them. Make sure you walk outside in the dirt a little bit before you put your foot in his lap for your much deserved message.
#9. In the middle of all of this cut off all communication with him. Go out with your girls and don't call or text him. He has no idea where you are. Let his mind wonder what you're up to. When you finally talked to him... you weren't doing anything. "You tried calling me 34 times? You texted me all day long?? Hmm. must be something wrong with my phone. Or perhaps the music was too loud where I was." He will then ask where you were, suspiciously say "nowhere." Karmaaaa.
At this point, if he really loves you, he will realize he hurt you. He will realize what happens when he does something stupid. And chances are he will NEVER do anything like that again. :) The random crying outbursts will really get to him. It was a one-time thing for him to go to a strip club. I know it wasn't like him, it was just for a bachelor party... but girls, it is a no-no to ignore my calls, and then lie to me about where he's been. Punishment is deserved.
;) let me know if any of you try these out. they have a pretty good success rate.